They say that I am a dumb, I talk non sense, I don't see the reality because I do not subscribe to the common idea of Today's world - that career and money is paramount to all other things in life. They feel that this is the way everybody lives in today's world - by living away from their homes and establishing the career. They say that career and prosperity resides in just a few pockets of India and that's where we should strive to go. They say that my education is a total waste if I do not contribute towards enriching this system of development and mass migration. They see their future in Seattle, in NY, in Australia because to them, these places are where work is, career is and wealth is.

I don't know why I feel really distanced from these ideas. I never had a dream of going to US, UK or anywhere because I always felt that my wealth is my family, my people. They are my strength. I never studied with a goal of earning fat salaries and living in a rich life style. I grew up in a lower middle class family and my aspirations were limited. I just wanted to make a living out of my education. Even today, I can't think of buying a SUV or Sedan, not because I am not capable of doing that but, because my upbringing has been done in such manner that these things never found a place in my thinking. I feel that prosperity and happiness lies with seeing your closed ones smiling, laughing... sharing their togetherness. Life has changed vastly in last decade and I feel I am left behind. Somewhere within me there is still an innocent student who 10 years back took his first steps outside his home in the hope that someday he will comeback with lot of smiles, and happiness on his face. Today, he is lost in the glory of this new upcoming world. He still wants to go back but, he doesn't know how to do that. There is so much at stake which he can't over look. He feels alone, deserted but, he doesn't know how to come out of this. There is so much of crowd around him still, there is no body whom he can call his own. Surely life has changed.

Today I am probably going to my home, with no hope, no positive emotions. I know this will come to an end very soon. Again next week, I will be taking the train back to come back to the place where I don't belong. I know that there is no way I can make things happen - I tried almost everything. I don't know why today I feel like crying because so much has accumulated with in me that I can't resist it any more. I am wasting my glorious years of youth in doing something which I don't like, at a place which I don't like, with those whom I don't have any attachments. What have I become!