Windy thoughts

Wind blows through my sides, giving me realization that I am soaring through these limitless fields. I stand there at mid night facing those empty fields, while half moon smiles over the sky covering those tiny twinkling stars with his blanket of moon light. I raise my head and search for 'Saptarshi', the only thing I recognize in the sky except moon. In my childhood, when I used to sleep on rooftop of my house, I used to look at it for hours. People say that these are DemiGods who guard the doors of heaven. I used to search for heaven through that gate and sometime, when a cloud used to came in that area, a curiosity used to catch my mind. Today, I see it with the same curiosity and it looks so silly to me but, I do not turn away. As usual, it is silent but, I can hear the sound of blowing wind.

Thoughts come to my mind, endless thoughts. I think about my past but, I can't recall much. I can't see myself as child, I don't remember how I used to look in those days, I can't see the colour of my clothes... all I remember is that curiosity, that inquisitveness which is yet present within me. I remember the darkness in streets, the dogs whom I always bewared of, my school gate, empty stairs of my building and then the moon smiling over all of them. I run through those streets and come out on my bicycle that was my only prized posession in those days. It is still there but, there are a few many items which have taken its place. Suddenly, the wind blows again and the chain of thoughts breaks as if the wind has pierced through my body. I leave the thoughts there under the open sky and come back to my room although, I want to stay there.

I try to sleep when Prashant Sir calls me. We discuss many things over the call... silence breaks and the first time in last few days I talk to somebody for over half an hour. After a while I try to sleep but, my mind does not allow me to stop thinking. I think about past, present and future without any motive and keep rolling over the bed. It is 2:30 AM in the morning, and I am still fighting to get a sleep. I have a project review tomorrow but, I have not prepared anything for it. I think about project but, my mind switches over to other topics. I know I have to get a sound sleep so that I can work tomorrow. This goes on till 5 in the morning when my alarm rings. I switch it off and finally falls into sleep.

I wake up and run towards the office, prepapre some data for project. People are gone for lunch, but I still sit here in my office. i don't feel like being hungry but, I am definitely feeling sleepy. The AC is off, fan is blowing hot air over my face and it reminds me of last night's blowing wind.

1344 hrs., DSCL sugar office, Loni, UP