I feel as if time is passing by my hand. I am just becoming a slave of my fortune, wherever it takes, I have to go. No decisions are made by me, by my choice -- I am just standing outside watching myself crushed minute by minute, second by second. I don't know what mistakes I committed to have deserved this. I ask God to please let me know at least this. Am I even not worthy of that? Please let me know. I thought of you as benevolent, as my master -- and look where have you brought me. I see myself on an end less march, on a pursuit which is resulting to nothing. Don't I have even rights to ask for am I paying for?

Every body says that things are fine, things are good; its just me who has built these notions inside my mind. But tell me, wasn't it you who guided my thinking in this manner? First, you put a seed in mind -- saying this is the virtuous path, this is what I had to aspire for. Then you showed me the way -- I was happier that you were with me, guiding me. But suddenly you left me. You stopped answering me. Are you different from me? Is the one living inside me, is different from you. Then, why this betrayal? I considered all the events as your indications, your languages, your signs towards a goal which I always dreamed for. I still need you the most, probably more than ever.

Why are you not answering....aaaaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh? Why so silent? This silence is killing me - from inside. Please answer me.